Hafiz, the beloved Sufi poet, reminds us in the poem below that loneliness is, indeed, a gift. Unlike depression and lethargy, which want us to stagnate and to sink in darkness, loneliness encourages us to move.
Loneliness is a desire, a physical feeling, something missing in the heart that inspires us to seek. Without loneliness, Hafiz suggests, how would you find yourself?
Part of being human is feeling the desire to connect and share with others. It’s okay to want love, and love can come in all shapes and sizes. Loneliness can certainly send us on journeys toward other people but it can also move us towards self-expression. It can move us to our journals to write, to a canvas to paint, to the woods to walk, to the animal shelter to offer a home to a new companion. Even if we are not looking specifically for God, our loneliness will send us in search of something.
Mindfulness can help us feel our loneliness fully, without needing to numb it or push it away. We can allow it to rest in the heart, give it a home, and meet it as a valuable teacher of connection. It reminds us that we can be lonely in a relationship or in a room full of people, and that the company of others will not always heal that feeling.
Our loneliness deserves better than that. Loneliness softens us. It helps us break down the walls that separate us from our own selves so we can connect more genuinely with others. Bringing gratitude to the holes in our heart that move us, taking a deep bow to this indispensable guide on our journey, and remembering that we all experience being alone in our suffering, is where transformation really begins to happen.
Adapted from J.C Peter, 2013
“My Eyes So Soft”
Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender,
My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.
by Hafiz, from “The Subject Tonight is Love, translated by Daniel Ladinsky
Beautiful
I absolutely love this. Thank you for reminding us that loneliness is not “alone” but an opportunity for exploration.
Thank you for this written insight. Suddenly loneliness takes on a whole new beautiful meaning.
Thank you, Monica. What I have misunderstood is the need to be grateful for the loneliness. I will try this and add it to my practice and prayer. I find great solace in listening to Mark Nepo’s ‘Book of Awakening’ and in the poetry of Rumi. I will also add Hafiz!