How to Approach Personal Disagreements

1. Beginner’s mind

Approach every conversation with an open mind. In the Buddhist tradition, there is a practice called beginner’s mind. It refers to approaching situations with freshness, openness and wonder, free from preconceptions and prejudices. The Zen master Shunryu Suzuki Roshi, who helped popularize Buddhism in the United States, used the term in his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

The term explains that when we think “we already know it,” our mind closes and it becomes rigid and narrow. We stop seeing things as they truly are. But when we have the mind of a beginner, free from biases and assumptions, we can see reality in a fresh, direct way. A beginner’s mind is inquisitive, humble and receptive. It allows us to experience things as if for the first time.

This concept relates to the Buddhist value of non-attachment. When we cling to knowledge and views, our minds become stagnant. But when we let go of fixed ideas and opinions, we can approach each moment with fresh perception. Suzuki Roshi, the Zen Monk, writes, “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few.”

Cultivating a beginner’s mind does not mean we discard knowledge and wisdom. Rather, it means we remain open to learning even from experiences we think are familiar, or from views we disagree with. We maintain a willingness to see things from a different perspective. This allows us to remain open and receptive to truth, however it may present itself. So having a beginner’s mind is really about maintaining a beginner’s heart – open, curious, receptive and ready to learn.