How to Stop Being a People Pleaser – Steps

I know we all want to be liked and accepted, but constantly putting others’ needs before your own is a surefire way to burn out.

Trust me, I’ve been there – the endless cycle of saying yes when you really want to say no, sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of keeping the peace. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? And it carries a hidden cost.

But here’s the thing – you don’t have to live that way anymore. It’s time to break free from the people-pleasing trap and start prioritizing your own well-being.

Do not let your decisions be based on what would make other people happy. I know it’s easier said than done, but I promise it’s worth it.

Here are six helpful steps to break free

1. The first step is to get real with yourself. Ask yourself why you feel the need to please others all the time. Is it a fear of conflict? A desire for validation? Once you identify the root cause, you can start to work on addressing it.
2. Try journaling. Allow your thoughts and feelings to flow in a stream of consciousness fashion, always knowing that nobody else will ever see it.  Often, this trait is rooted in old patterns of fear of rejection. While this behavior may have served you well at an earlier point in life, you can make healthier choices now.
3. Next, it’s time to set some boundaries. This doesn’t mean you have to become a selfish jerk – it just means learning to say no sometimes without feeling guilty about it. Start small if you need to, but make it a habit to honor your own needs and limitations.
4. Do not overexplain. A phrase  like “I have too much on my plate right now” is enough.
5. Buy some time. Instead of saying “yes” right away, simply say, “Let me check my calendar and get back with you.”  This gives you time to think about what the commitment implies and make the right decision.
6. Decline with grace & gratitude. “I appreciate the opportunity. I just can’t do it right now. “

And remember, it’s okay to disappoint people sometimes. Not everyone is going to like you all the time, and that’s perfectly fine. The people who truly care about you will understand and respect your boundaries.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Surrounding yourself with a supportive circle of friends and loved ones who encourage you to put yourself first can make all the difference.

Breaking free from people-pleasing isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. Trust me, the freedom to be your authentic self without constantly worrying about what others think is truly priceless.

Thank you Linda Arnold for the image.