This week, I invite you to take a moment to contemplate what your mother is /was like. What is/was your relationships with your mother like? What important lessons have you learned from her?
No relationship is perfect, of course. I’m sure there were some challenges, and some very beautiful moments you two spent together.
Some of us have a “mother wound.” I had a very tumultuous relationship with my mother growing up. We both had some great times together but also many moments that left profound emotional scars in me.
As I grew older, I realized that she had been blind to the wounds she had inflicted in me. She was the product of her own upbringing, of unresolved traumas, and was acting on unconscious patterns she had learned in her own childhood.
Self-compassion was the first step towards recovery, and eventually forgiveness. Focusing on taking in the love available in our relationship helped me to see who she really was.
And we inevitably learn. We learn what does not work in mother-child relationships so we can break the cycle of generational dysfunction. Life also gifts us with wonderful models.
The beautiful mothering relationship I had with my grandma was one of those gifts. She had that “I love you so much” energy that made me feel so special. In many ways, she helped me heal many of my wounds around being mothered by a complicated mother. With her, I felt I was swimming in an ocean of love and acceptance.
Did you have someone in your life who represented a nurturing mothering presence? It might be your real mom, or it may be another family member, a friend, a teacher, a mentor or even a caring neighbor presence. If that is the case, honor all those opportunities. Remember her, picture her in your mind, and take in any of her loving words, kind gaze, facial expressions, gestures, moments when you felt seen. It will expand your heart and soothe your nervous system.
And if you are a mother yourself, celebrate this magical gift Life has granted you 🙏💕
Leave a Reply