No Relationship is Perfect

As we approach Mother’s Day, I would like to invite you to take a moment to contemplate, what is/was your mother like? What is/was your relationships with your mother like? What important lessons have you learned from her?

No relationship is perfect, of course. I’m sure there were some challenges, and some very beautiful moments you two spent together.

Some of us have a “mother wound.” I had a very tumultuous relationship with my mother growing up. We both had some great times together but also many moments that left profound emotional scars in me.

A few years ago, I started to bring to mind very simple but meaningful and enriching experiences we had together. Like cooking ravioli from scratch on Sundays, or helping me shop for clothes, or going for an ice-cream every day after lunch in the summer of 5th grade, or being radiant and kind-hearted with her friends. She also loved to celebrate my birthdays and make them super special for me.

So focusing on taking in the love available in our relationship helped me to see who she really was. As I grew older, I realized that whatever she lacked as a mother was because she was blind to the wound she was inflicting in me. She was acting on unconscious patterns. And we learn. We learn from good models and we also learn what not to do from bad examples.

I also had a beautiful mothering relationship with my grandma. She had that “I love so much” energy vibe that made me feel so special. In many ways, she helped me heal many of my wounds around being mothered by a complicated mother. With her, I felt I was swimming in an ocean of love and acceptance.

Did you have someone in your life who represented a nurturing mothering presence? It might be your real mom, or it may not be your actual mother. It may be another family member, or a friend, a teacher, a mentor or even a caring neighbor presence. If that is the case, honor all those opportunities.

Remember her, picture her in your mind, and take in any of her loving words, kind gaze, facial expressions, gestures, moments when you felt seen, acts of kindness that brought you together. Absorb it all and allow the love to flood your soul.

So this weekend, I invite you to see and find nurturing resources to bring a positive mother or mothering presence into your life. The practice of visualizing, receiving and giving love, warmth and acceptance is immensely healing. It expands our heart and soothes our nervous system.

And if you are a mother yourself, celebrate this magical gift Life has granted you 🙏

Much love to all the mothers in this world ♥ ♥