Have you ever stopped to think about how your relationship with your dad has shaped the person you are today?
Whether you had an amazing dad, an absent dad, or something in between, your father plays a huge role in your development and sense of self.
For many of us, our fathers are our first love, our first protector, our first example of what a man is.
If you were lucky enough to have a dad who was loving, supportive and actively involved in your life, you likely grew up feeling secure in yourself and confident in your abilities.
But for those of us with a “father wound” – the pain of an absent, critical or abusive father – the impact on our lives is deep and long-lasting.
We see ourselves in the eyes of those we love.
Fathers play a pivotal role in shaping their children’s self-esteem and confidence. When fathers are present and engaged in their children’s lives, it provides a sense of security, stability and belonging that helps the children thrive.
A father’s love can significantly impact a child’s social and emotional development, teaching them healthy coping mechanisms and easing life’s challenges.
Fathers also act as role models by demonstrating positive behaviors, kindness, respect and compassion. Children with good father relationships tend to have higher self-esteem, better academic performance and healthier relationships.
An engaged father provides non- judgemental support that helps kids navigate life’s challenges in a confusing world.
It is important for fathers to be emotionally available, validate their children’s emotions and experiences and model healthy relationships with their wives. As sons and daughters go through adolescence, fathers can continue providing guidance to help them build resilience and determination.
The Father Wound
For those with an absent or abusive father, the “father wound” can result in difficulty trusting others, seeking approval, and struggling with self-worth and confidence.
My own father was absent. I never had that father-daughter bond. However, I could heal my “father wound” through a lot of personal work. I now understand that he was blind to the hurt he was inflicting in me, and I could forgive his lack of self-awareness.
I am so grateful to the many father models I had in my life, one of which is my own wonderful husband who makes my heart sing every time I see how he fathers our daughter.
Though I could not change the past, I was able to reframe my interpretation of events and my new perception has shaped my present and future. It’s never too late to start healing. The key is to nurture yourself, give yourself the affection you missed, and celebrate every step of your healing journey.
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