As children, we see ourselves in the eyes of those we love and respect.
Shame often begins in childhood through experiences with parents, siblings, peers and others.
Children are susceptible to feedback and learn at a very young age what behaviors elicit praise or disapproval from others. Repeated experiences of embarrassment, rejection, humiliation or/and disapproval can become internalized, shaping a child’s self-concept and belief systems.
These experiences may not be remembered consciously, but they are internalized in the unconscious, […]
Self-Compassion
When our Emotional World is Set on Fire
Triggers set our emotional world on fire
The stories we weave in our mind become so vivid and rich, even colorful and persuasive sometimes, that we believe our own creative narratives, and we drive ourselves crazy with worry, anxiety, or anger.
In The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the jewels hidden within you, Matt Licata, PhD, gives an accurate description of what we experience when we are triggered: our emotional world is set on fire. […]
In a Dark Place or Just Been Planted?
Sometimes when you are in a dark place you may feel you have been buried, when in fact you have been planted.
This quote by Christine Caine holds a profound truth about hardship and struggle. When we are going through difficult times, it can feel like we are trapped in darkness with no hope or escape. The quote suggests that what feels like being buried in darkness may actually be a planting – […]
Repair in Relationships
Arguments and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how those conflicts are resolved and repaired afterward greatly impacts the overall health and longevity of the relationship.
Underneath our encounters there are sometimes feelings of grief and sadness, the profound need to be seen, heard and understood, and a longing to reconnect.
Often, these arguments can open the door to renew the energy and intimacy of our bond with our partner. […]
Self-Care
I understand the urge to help others and make them happy. But it’s equally important to take care of yourself first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Recharging your own batteries is absolutely crucial. Taking time for yourself does not make you selfish – it makes you effective. When your energy is full, you can show up for others from a place of abundance rather than scarcity and burnout.
So give yourself permission to rest. […]
What Triggered You?
When someone’s behavior, words, or reaction in the present moment remind us of a painful experience in our past, we may have an exaggerated reaction. We are triggered.
The amygdala, which detects threats and controls emotional reactions, becomes activated. Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released, preparing the body for “fight, flight, freeze or fawn.”
Our reactivity is automatic and unconscious. It may be to FLEE (detach, dismiss and minimize), FREEZE (become anxious and fix), […]
A Father’s Love & The “Father Wound”
Have you ever stopped to think about how your relationship with your dad has shaped the person you are today?
Whether you had an amazing dad, an absent dad, or something in between, your father plays a huge role in your development and sense of self.
For many of us, our fathers are our first love, our first protector, our first example of what a man is.
If you were lucky enough to have a dad who was loving, […]
How to Create New Emotional & Spiritual Energy for 2023
The beginning of a new year can start a new chapter in our lives
Why is it so difficult to follow through with our New Year’s resolutions despite our best intentions?
From a therapeutic perspective, for a resolution to work, it is crucial to bring self-awareness and honest self-reflection into the process.
We can design real and permanent change if we take some time to look back, assess and reflect on what worked and what did not work in our lives. […]
How to work with anger
Monica explores how to meet anger with conscious awareness
This article was first published on Lion’s Roar on June 28, 2022.
While I don’t consider myself an angry person, I have always had an open curiosity about anger. As a child, I remember experiencing deep fear in the chaotic moments of my mother’s angry spells. I felt helpless and anxious, but I suppressed these emotions because of my fear of adding more intensity to my mom’s outbursts, […]
Como trabajar con la ira
Monica Jordan explora como relacionarnos con la ira de una manera consciente
Este artículo fue publicado en Lion’s Roar el 28 de junio de 2022
Aunque no me considero una persona que se enoja fácilmente, siempre he tenido mucha curiosidad con respecto a la ira. Cuando era niña, recuerdo haber experimentado un miedo profundo en los momentos caóticos de ira de mi madre. Me sentía impotente y ansiosa, […]