The term gaslighting is thrown around everywhere today because our communication skills are so underdeveloped, that we believe disagreement is a threat.
Gaslighting involves intentional deception. It is a real and serious problem. Taken to extremes, it can even drive a person insane.
Gaslighting is psychological abuse. Unfortunately, it is very common in relationships, and also a form of social and political manipulation.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation concentrated on making the recipient doubt her /his memory, […]
Communication
The Blind Men and the Elephant
The Parable of the Blind Men and the Elephant.
A long time ago in a village in India, there lived six blind men who had never seen an elephant. One day, word spread that a magnificent elephant had arrived in the village. Curious to understand what this creature was like, the six blind men went to examine it. Each man touched a different part of the elephant:
The first man approached the elephant’s side and felt its broad, […]
The DARVO Tactic
The DARVO Tactic is one of the most disorienting manipulation tactics out there, and once you know what it is, you’ll start seeing it everywhere.
What does the term stand for?
DENY
ATTACK and
REVERSE VICTIM and
OFFENDER
It’s a way to shift blame away from the abuser and make you seem like the one at fault. […]
Walking on Eggshells
What does it Feel like Walking on Eggshells?
In a safe relationship you thrive. You feel safe to be who you are. Emotions are disclosed and talked about.
In our early childhood, some of us were conditioned to mind read, walk on egg shells, and be responsible for people’s emotions. We were hyper vigilant because we had to be, but not any more.
Walking on eggshells around someone can be one of the most mentally and emotionally draining experiences. […]
How do you Fix Conflict?
Ever wonder why some couples fall apart after a few years while others seem to grow even stronger?
It’s not because they never fight. It’s because they know how to repair.
Unresolved conflict isn’t just a disagreement, it leaves behind emotional wounds.
Over time, those wounds stack up. Small issues turn into major resentments. Emotional safety erodes.
And eventually, partners start feeling like roommates instead of lovers.
Here’s what people get wrong:
💥 They assume time will heal the issue. […]
Honing our Communication Skills with S.E.W.
There is no question that communication skills is one of the most important abilities we can possess. The ability to effectively exchange information, ideas and feelings with others is key to building strong relationships, connection and understanding both at a personal and professional level.
By sharing information and viewpoints, we learn from others and help them learn from us. Effective communication fosters an environment of openness where people feel comfortable sharing ideas, feelings and knowledge, […]
Setting Boundaries in Conversations
Have you ever found yourself stuck in conversation at a family gathering?
Maybe you have a nosy aunt who loves asking you super personal questions you don’t want to answer. Or a cousin who manages to dump all their problems on you at every party. Feeling like you’re stuck in a conversation you can’t seem to get out of is the worst!
If this is an experience you have with close family it can speak to a deeper boundary dysfunction. […]
Repair in Relationships
Arguments and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how those conflicts are resolved and repaired afterward greatly impacts the overall health and longevity of the relationship.
Underneath our encounters there are sometimes feelings of grief and sadness, the profound need to be seen, heard and understood, and a longing to reconnect.
Often, these arguments can open the door to renew the energy and intimacy of our bond with our partner. […]
What Triggered You?
When someone’s behavior, words, or reaction in the present moment remind us of a painful experience in our past, we may have an exaggerated reaction. We are triggered.
The amygdala, which detects threats and controls emotional reactions, becomes activated.
Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released, preparing the body for “fight, flight, freeze or fawn.”
Our reactivity is automatic and unconscious: it may be to
FLEE (detach, dismiss and minimize), […]
The Art & Power of Listening
Every act of communication is an act of tremendous courage in which we give ourselves over to two parallel possibilities.
First, the possibility of being seen and understood, and of being accepted.
At the same time we are planting into another mind a seed sprouted in ours, and watching it blossom into a breathtaking flower of mutual understanding says Ursula Kroeber Le Guin in her book The Wave in the Mind
Feeling understood brings along a sense of validation that connects us to the other, […]