Arguments and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how those conflicts are resolved and repaired afterward greatly impacts the overall health and longevity of the relationship.
Underneath our encounters there are sometimes feelings of grief and sadness, the profound need to be seen, heard and understood, and a longing to reconnect.
Often, these arguments can open the door to renew the energy and intimacy of our bond with our partner. […]
Relationships
Self-Care
I understand the urge to help others and make them happy. But it’s equally important to take care of yourself first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Recharging your own batteries is absolutely crucial. Taking time for yourself does not make you selfish – it makes you effective. When your energy is full, you can show up for others from a place of abundance rather than scarcity and burnout.
So give yourself permission to rest. […]
What Triggered You?
When someone’s behavior, words, or reaction in the present moment remind us of a painful experience in our past, we may have an exaggerated reaction. We are triggered.
The amygdala, which detects threats and controls emotional reactions, becomes activated.
Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released, preparing the body for “fight, flight, freeze or fawn.”
Our reactivity is automatic and unconscious: it may be to
FLEE (detach, dismiss and minimize), […]
A Father’s Love & The “Father Wound”
Have you ever stopped to think about how your relationship with your dad has shaped the person you are today?
Whether you had an amazing dad, an absent dad, or something in between, your father plays a huge role in your development and sense of self.
For many of us, our fathers are our first love, our first protector, our first example of what a man is.
If you were lucky enough to have a dad who was loving, […]
No Relationship is Perfect
As we approach Mother’s Day, I would like to invite you to take a moment to contemplate, what is/was your mother like? What is/was your relationships with your mother like? What important lessons have you learned from her?
No relationship is perfect, of course. I’m sure there were some challenges, and some very beautiful moments you two spent together.
Some of us have a “mother wound.” I had a very tumultuous relationship with my mother growing up. […]
The Art & Power of Listening
Every act of communication is an act of tremendous courage in which we give ourselves over to two parallel possibilities.
First, the possibility of being seen and understood, and of being accepted.
At the same time we are planting into another mind a seed sprouted in ours, and watching it blossom into a breathtaking flower of mutual understanding says Ursula Kroeber Le Guin in her book The Wave in the Mind
Feeling understood brings along a sense of validation that connects us to the other, […]
The Art of Listening
Good, Conscious Listening Can Be Cultivated ~ Here’s How
The art of listening is cultivated with the deep desire to understand and connect to the other. Unfortunately, good listeners are very difficult to find and, for that reason, conscious, meaningful conversations are not natural because we are usually more interested in expressing our own thoughts, feelings and opinions. However, skillful listening is a talent we can all learn and cultivate.
Holding a space for the person who is talking to feel comfortable and safe enough not to hold anything relevant back, […]
Relationships Exist to Make us Conscious not Happy
“Every crisis represents not only danger but also opportunity. As the egoic mode of consciousness and all the social, political, and economic structures that it created enter the final stage of collapse, the relationships between men and women reflect the deep state of crisis in which humanity now finds itself. As humans have become increasingly identified with their mind, most relationships are not rooted in Being and so turn into a source of pain and become dominated by problems and conflict. […]
Pema Chodron – The Diamond Thief
This is a 3+ minute excerpt from Pema Chödrön’s online course called “Freedom to Love.” In this short talk, Pema tells the story of The Diamond Thief, and reflects on the need to become aware of our own inner richness that is always already within us. […]